Dr. Chaim Y. Botwinick
As we know, Chinuch (education) is one of the the most cherished and valued priorities for our Jewish community. As such, the type of Chinuch which parents select for their children may in fact be the most critical decision they will make for their children and family.
Since the establishment of the first Jewish day school in 1885 in the United States by Etz Chaim, parents have been on a continued quest for the “best” yeshiva day school education for the children.
With the impressive expansion of the yeshiva day school movement in the United States, we have witnessed a proliferation of student demographic growth, innovative curricula, creative teaching methodologies, increased effective use of new technology and an impressive network of schools with outstanding educational leadership, resources and communal support.
As we know, this remarkable growth and expansion which our communities have experienced also presents significant challenges and opportunities unsurpassed in history.
Several of these challenges include, but are not limited to school affordability; the training, recruitment and retention of teaching personnel; the engagement of senior day school/yeshiva educational leadership; and responding to the needs of students with exceptionalities including students in need of remediation social/emotional calibration as well as gifted students.
Selecting the “Right (Best) Fit” Yeshiva Day School
Over the next several weeks, parents will be participating in a wide array of yeshiva day school “Open House” programs.
This annual tradition attracts an increased number of parents every year in order for our schools to provide them (parents) with a more up close perspective regarding a school’s hashkafa, curriculum, educational programs, schedule, facility, teacher profiles, student expectations and other important school characteristics.
At these events, which at times become somewhat competitive in nature (depending upon the community), schools must put their best efforts forward, knowing full well that the process is a competitive one at best.
At the end of the day, it’s about motivating, inspiring and encouraging parents to enroll their children in a particular school.
Essentially, it involves the meaningful and effective advertising, promoting and marketing of our schools.
Although this process is a most valuable one, there is only so much information parents can garner during the limited time available to them at an Open House. This reality therefore places the responsibility and burden on the parent to drill-down deeper on their own.
A Deep-Dive into Fact-Finding and Decision-Making Regarding the School’s “Best Fit” for Your Child
It is obvious that not all yeshiva day schools are the most appropriate or best fit for all children. As such, parents must be very careful to engage in due diligence.
In addition, each parent is searching for a specific educational and social environment for the child and no two schools (or students) are exactly alike.
Selecting the “right” school is an extremely difficult and challenging balance. This is especially the case when sending a child to a new school or to the school for the first time.
In light of this reality, it is incumbent upon parents to try to insure that the “school fit” is the best for their child.
By the same token, we know that there are no guarantees, and that a wrong decision or one that is made in haste can be very costly to the welfare of the child, let alone the decision’s financial implications.
As a past principal, head of school and school consultant, I continuously hear the phrase from parents that “parents know their children the best”.
This perception may be true. But it does not always translate into schooling or the best school fit for the child.
So, in light of these realities, what are some of the avenues and options available to parents who are committed and driven to ensure that their child will grow, develop, and flourish academically, socially and emotionally in a particular school.
Steps to Be Considered
The following is a brief outline of steps that parents may consider.
First and foremost, it is essential to know that the school which your child attends will in part become the institution that molds, shapes and impacts your child’s future as well as his/her intellectual growth and social development. To think otherwise, is foolish and short-sighted.
The second consideration includes exposure to teachers and rabbeim who are assigned to your child’s class, the friends which your child selects, the hashkafa and middot that are promoted (or not) in the school; and the general atmosphere of the school.
Criteria for selection should not always be limited to academics in kodesh or chol but also to the child’s exposure to exemplary character traits and middot tovot. In other words, cultural standards and norms of the school may be just as vital as academics. And in select cases, depending on the child, even more critical.
Parents must always be proactive.
Several Steps for Parents to Undertake May Include:
- Obtaining permission from the principal or head of school to sit in a classroom (in session) in order to observe classroom teaching/learning dynamics;
- Reviewing the results of the school’s standardized test scores;
- Spending time in the lunchroom to observe how students interact with each other;
- Listening carefully to the language and words students use in the halls between periods;
- Observing whether there is talking during tefillah
- Spending time observing PE and recesses in order to observe how students interact with one another during “down-time”;
- Obtaining special permission from the principal or head of school to ask a few students questions about how they feel about the school – what they like best and least;
- Scheduling a time of mutual convenience to chat with Judaic studies rabbeim and general studies teachers;
- Contacting select like-minded parents in order to obtain their perceptions about the strengths and weaknesses of the school;
- Trying to get a general vibe of the school by observing and listening carefully to students who attended or who graduated from the school;
- If permitted, asking the school administration for a copy of the school’s accreditation report;
- Observing (as much as one can) if the school has a warm, inviting, caring and nurturing environment;
- Prioritize what you consider to be the most important or essential characteristics of the school as they relate to the provision of chinuch for your child, and
- Observe the manner in which students are dressed and are groomed.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, your family’s decision regarding the yeshiva day school “best fit” for your child is a very personal one.
As indicated, your decision will depend on a variety of factors, some of which are exclusively school-related, others will be based upon your child’s personality, cognitive and social disposition.
In all probability, it will be based on a combination of the two.
It’s important to also note that even with the best and most comprehensive vetting of a school, parents will never know for sure or be 100% confident that the school is the “best fit” for the child.
As such, there are a variety of circumstances and factors which evolve and change over time, making it impossible to achieve absolute certainty.
At best, the parent needs to prioritize those aspects of the school that represent the three most essential elements for a child’s growth, development and success.
Depending upon maturity level, involve your child in the conversation and decision-making process; seek guidance from friends, colleagues and relatives.
Finally, you may want to compare the process to vetting a company prior to accepting the job offer or assignment. You can only vet so much. In fact, too much vetting can lead to confusion, fatigue and overload, leading to very costly decision-making and results.
The decision you make for and with your child will be one of the most important decisions in his/her life.
Remember, as long as you engaged in hishtadlut (due diligence), the rest is in the hands of HaShem.
If you are attempting this important journey, I wish you tremendous hatzlacha as you embark upon one of the most important decisions in your son’s life; namely the identification and selection of a school which represents the “best fit” for your child.
Always please keep in mind that the activities suggested in this article do not need to happen in one day. Take your time, start your review process early on, but always give yourself a deadline in order to make a final determination or decision. But do not overthink or overanalyze. It will only lead to procrastination, frustration.
And remember, the type of school you select for your child will be foundational to his/her future success.
B’hatzlacha
About the Author:
Dr. Chaim Botwinick is a senior executive coach and an organizational consultant. He served as president and CEO of the central agency for Jewish education in Baltimore and in Miami; in addition to head of school and principal for several Jewish day schools and yeshivot. As an Influencer, he has published and lectured extensively on topics relating to education, leadership, strategic planning and resource development. Dr. Botwinick is co-founder of LEV Consulting Associates and is producer/host of the Chinuch Horizons podcast series. He is author of “Think Excellence” Brown Books 2011
