Dr. Chaim Y. Botwinick on Yirat Shamayim, Ahavat Yisrael & Jewish Educational Leadership
Dr. Chaim Botwinick
A defining moment is an important transformative event or decision that molds and shapes our character, life trajectory and/or career.
These decisions or events can be divided into two distinct and at times overlapping and interrelated broad categories – personal and communal.
There are defining moments that impact communities as a whole and those that are very specific to individuals.
The Communal Domain
Throughout history, our Jewish communities have experienced a wide array of defining moments from the akeida to receiving the Torah at Har Sinai; from yetziat mitzrayim, the splitting and crossing of the Red Sea to our sojourn in the midbar and entry into Eretz Yisrael; from the destructive ravages of concentration camps to the establishment of the State of Israel; and, from the victory of the Six Day War to the bloody massacre of October 7th.
These are just a select few of the countless communal defining moments in history which have impacted our Jewish people and community over the centuries.
Each one of these events (and many others) have left an indelible and permanent impact on our Jewish community in ways which are very evident today and at times unimaginable.
Defining Moments is a term or phrase which is used interchangeably with terms or words such as turning points, game-changer, milestones or watershed moments, to name a few.
They are very powerful events in time which can be life altering and transformative and which move us in a variety of directions.
Just think of the examples in history which I just offered and how they each changed the face of history, our destiny and our mesorah
My dear father z”l once said that when these moments happen or occur, we never really know for certain if or how they will impact our lives or future generations. It is therefore imperative that we view these events Byad HaShem (through the hands of God) and that each of these moments in time are accompanied by a set of reasons or circumstances which are far beyond our human ability or capacity to decipher, understand, explain or even comprehend.
It is therefore imperative that we minimize the time and energy we expend looking for answers as to why these events (moments) occur but rather focus more of our attention on ways in which these moments mold, shape and inform our attitudes, behaviors as well as bitachon and emunah in HaShem and in His miraculous wonders and nissim.
There are numerous communal defining moments in Jewish history which have tested our resilience, bitachon and emunah. And, there are many that just slip under the radar by us not really knowing, recognizing or appreciating their occurrence or impact until years or generations later.
One Jewish communal defining moment which we as a people consistently experience is in our daily tefillot, when HaShem took us out of mitzrayim and when we crossed the Yam Suf (Red Sea). We are in fact reminded of these miraculous momenst twice daily in our tefillot and of course on Chag Pesach and when reciting kiddush This was indeed one of the most amazing transformative defining moments (for Bnai Yisrael) in history.
The challenge this suggests however relates to how often we as a people and as a community make a conscious effort to truly reflect or think about these miraculous moments consistently, every day and throughout our lives, especially when reciting a bracha or tefillot.
We all know that after a period of time, these events or moments get swallowed up, eclipsed and adsorbed by other mundane events in our daily lives and activities.
Then there are other defining communal moments which have caused irreparable communal trauma such as the impact of the Holocaust on those survivors who experienced the horrors of Nazi death camps of Europe.
Unfortunately, many of us know of survivors who are tormented and reminded of this trauma every day of their lives. They continuously think, reflect and are painfully reminded of this horrible defining moment in their lives.
For many, this traumatic defining moment brought many of them closer to Judaism, bitachon and emuna. But as we know, there are sadly many others who unfortunately distanced themselves from religiosity, or their relationship to HaShem.
Friends, as an educator, I never ever pass judgment on these beautiful members of our Jewish community. There is no right or wrong, at-least from this writer’s perspective. This is but another example of the profound ebb and flow of defining moments in our lives and community.
The Personal Domain
As we go through life and our private personal journeys, all of us experience a variety of defining moments which can be extremely positive and exhilarating, or somewhat negative.
As an example, they may include, but not be limited to the bar/bat mitzvah, brit or beautiful birth of a child or grandchild, the sad passing of a parent or loved-one, the blessed celebration of an engagement or a marriage; the day you passed the Bar or Smicha exam to the moment your child repeated his first precious words or took his first steps; and the day you or your spouse were offered that dream job.
These are all personal defining moments, the memories and impact of which are permanently embedded in our minds, hearts, thoughts and psyche forever.
What makes these moments so important and defining are their short and long term impact on our lives – how they impact our individual decision making, value judgments, demeanor, character, dispositions and relationships.
At the end of the day, we are all products of our environment and experiences. Each of us have a very special and unique set of characteristics which define who we are.
The one challenge however which makes us even more unique, in addition to being created in the image of HaShem, is how these moments in time impact our relationship with HaShem and again to one another.
As we know, in Judaism, nothing in the world happens by accident or by coincidence. To be sure, all defining moments are ordained through the will of HaShem and we are all recipients of His good graces.
Finally, as suggested, what may be a defining moment for one person, may not necessarily be as defining for another. This also holds true for numerous events we experience throughout our lives.
It is therefore imperative that we understand, appreciate and respect our defining moments; we should never take these moments for granted and we should always keep in mind that life is fleeting and fragile.
Finally, defining moments teaches us to always be mindful and to express haKarat haTov (gratefulness) on a daily basis, and to always try to live positive moments to their fullest.
As we move into the future, it is our hope and prayer that acheinu bnai yisrael will be blessed with positive defining moments that are permanently embedded and anchored in yirat shamayim, ahavat yisrael, ahavat chesed and ahavat chinam.
About the Author
Dr. Chaim Y. Botwinick is a senior executive coach and an organizational consultant. He served as president and CEO of the central agency for Jewish education in Baltimore and in Miami; in addition to head of school and principal for several Jewish day schools and yeshivot. As an Influencer, he has published and lectured extensively on topics relating to education, resource development, strategic planning and leadership development. Dr. Botwinick is co-founder of LEV Consulting Associates and creator/host of the Chinuch Horizons podcast series. He is Author of “Think Excellence: Harnessing Your Power to Succeed Beyond Greatness”, Brown Books, 2011
