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By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

Senior Moments

I’ve been meaning to write about this topic for some time, but I kept forgetting to. It would pop into my mind, then before I could do anything with it, it would be gone. I mean, I wrote down an overview of the idea, but then I didn’t look at it for a while and forgot it was there. When I came across it again, I decided I would finally write it, but it took me a few more times of remembering randomly to say, “OK, now I’m going to write this.”

Of course, when I wanted to use this title, I couldn’t remember if I’d used it before, but at least it’s something I can search for on my computer. I didn’t find another column using this title, so I went with it, though I think it might have been funnier if I had used it before.

The topic for today, of course, is forgetting. Not forgetting which Divrei Torah you said last year at the Pesach Seder, and not even forgetting where you parked your car. I’m talking about REAL forgetting, like when you get into your car and can’t remember where you wanted to go, or whether you are getting in or getting out. I mean when you walk into a room and wonder, “Why am I here? What did I come for?”

Then you have to walk out, walk back in, and try to jog your memory. And I HATE jogging, so it’s even harder for me. I find myself getting a bit more forgetful, and the episodes happen a bit more frequently. They say it’s normal as you age, and that’s why they coined the term, “Senior Moment.” It is something that happens to many people, especially when they get older, and it doesn’t mean you have dementia. It just means your brain is so full of life experience that you sort of push other things into the corner.

OK, I don’t know if that last part is true, but I do think I know why this happens as we get older. It’s similar to something I’ve shared in the past. 

As we age, even people whose eyesight has always been good begin having trouble seeing. It could be reading, seeing things at a distance, or switching from one to the other. When I started noticing it happening to me (and I’m really not THAT old, btw) I explained it as I saw it: “As we age, Hashem wants us to start looking at things differently.” Some people chuckled, thinking I was making a joke, but I wasn’t really. It’s simply the way I see it, that Hashem is trying to help us before it’s too late to change.

I think the same thing is happening with the memory lapses. As they happen more and more, you can’t deny them. (I hope I’m not the only one!) There’s something in your brain that is making you forget where you were heading or why, and then reminding once you realize you’ve forgotten. The message, it seems to me, is that we came to this world for a reason, and along the way, we tend to get sidetracked and forget why we’re here.

Do you remember the story of the fellow who heard of a place where diamonds were as plentiful as rocks or seashells on the sand? He traveled there on a ship that made the treacherous voyage once every few years. He collected a bunch of diamonds and went to a hotel, trying to pay with them. “Diamonds are worth nothing here,” he was told. “Potatoes, though, those are valuable!”

The man managed to borrow some money to tide him over, and then he began working. Over the next four years, he amassed a fortune, and was ready to head home. When the ship arrived, he booked cargo space and carefully loaded his haul.

When he arrived home, his wife and family gathered to see all the gems he had brought back. “Gems?!” he asked, “I brought back something much better, POTATOES!” They were dumbfounded.

The crates were opened but the potatoes had rotted on the voyage. In his time away on the island where diamonds were plentiful, he forgot what was truly valuable and bought into the mind frame of the islanders. When getting ready to clean his clothes, he found a few small diamonds in the pockets and hems with which his family was able to support themselves, but he felt humiliated as he realized his grave mistake in not gathering all the diamonds he could before he came home.

That story, of course, symbolizes this world, where mitzvos are as plentiful as the dust, and where they are scorned by society. We have to make sure we don’t forget why we came here. I think that’s why Hashem gives us these moments when we recognize our memories are faulty, and… um… what was I saying?

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